Teaching my children to live by the Holy Ghost… Hmmm. This is something I hope I am doing and doing well, but am I? I can not force my kids to be spiritual, but I can create an environment where the opportunity to grow and teach is present.
I am a “be tough” parent. I don’t really let my kids boohoo to me when they get a little scrape on their knee or if some situation hurts their feelings. I usually tell them to stop crying and buck up. I don’t acknowledge their feelings. Now, Is this good??? Maybe in some situations it might be ok, but in a whole I feel like my lack of mommy affections have limited me in letting my kids acknowledge their feelings. I am not saying that I need to “baby” them. I am saying that I am not really allowing my kids to know that what they are feeling is valuable and teach them how to work with those feelings.
One comment Sister Tanner said was If we describe how we feel the Holy Ghost is through feelings then why are we(am I) trying to disregard those feelings. This is one thing I am working on now. It also got me thinking about Santa. Am I really doing my kids justice by teaching them about Santa when he isn’t real? They never see him and when they come to the ripe age of disbelief us as parents confirm their suspicions. What if my kids come to me in this same conclusion about Christ and Heavenly Father. Will my testimony and belief be enough to let them know that I am not pulling their leg about them too? I don’t know. I am really torn on this one. We are reading our scriptures, praying, FHE, and talk constantly about them, but is it enough?
Sacrament Meetings are interesting with us. Like most young families we bring the snacks for the younger kid and maybe the coloring books with all that goes with it. We did say no to the toys. We get the kids to go potty and get a drink before it starts, but it never fails that one or more cry really loud about having to go until we finally give in and let them go. Is this creating an environment where the Holy Ghost can touch us. Probably not, but I decided to change that. So, no snacks- she is in nursery now, so I don’t think she will die without having a gold fish for one hour. I am now providing the paper and one pencil. That is it. They can draw- quietly- or nothing at all. Two weeks down and so far not so bad. No potty breaks! This was the hardest to grasp for Kyle, but he has done amazing. I just can’t believe it, he can actually wait and hour to go potty! *It’s a miracle*. What made me decide that I need this change was she said that Robert and I have the temple to go to and to feel the spirit and the church should be the place where our kids can go and feel the spirit (outside of my home). I want to make sure my kids know that the church is a sacred place just like the temple.
She also said that the Sabbath Day should be a day not just a 3 hour block. Huh, well of course it does. It has been hard these two weeks to keep my kids focused, but you know, they love it. I bought a few Sunday only books, markers, games, church movies, pictures, and I have gotten the play dough that Toria got for her birthday down so that only on Sundays in a controlled environment, they may play with it. (of course so far they have been enjoying the other things that I haven’t yet let them see the play dough, but it is there for them to use) I am pretty tired by the time they are in bed, but it sure does feel good.
1 month ago
4 who want to talk about it:
These are really good ideas. I am always trying to evaluate my mothering in this fashion. I was really good in school and always got A's. I often try to grade myself in different aspects of my mothering job. These steps are a good way to keep track. I like it! I think that using some of these tips I might move closer to a higher grade on my mothering report card.
Way to go! I know how hard Sunday can be but it's true the kids can make it through an hour without a potty break or a drink break (that's what Little Girl is always begging for) or a snack.
We cut out snacks and toys a couple years ago and it makes a huge difference! I won't even bring coloring books unless it's stake conference. All the changes have made a huge difference on our row when it comes to reverence! Good ideas you are learning! Thanks again for sharing.
This really makes me think. I want my children to recognize their feelings- especially when they feel the spirit- I dont know how well I am doing with this. My kids do great during sacrament. I bring something to color but they can not use it untill they have taken the sacrament- so only during the talks. But our sabbath day outside of church could really use some improving.
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