A Mother in Training- Part 7

Teaching our Children Responsibility and Work
One of the things I felt like hit me this past general conference was the need to be ready. Be ready in my food storage. Be ready in my finances. And be ready with my family. A lot of these lessons in the parenting class had hit me the same way. I need to prepare my kids to be rulers over their own kingdoms. They can’t just watch and learn I need to teach them so they learn. Going back to the first lesson she talks about how we always want things to be easy and that having ease is Satan’s plan. So the key to get into the Celestial Kingdom is work and working hard. Being resurrected is completely free, but going to the celestial kingdom isn’t. I don’t know about you, but I REALLY want to go to the celestial kingdom and I am don’t think I am doing enough work to get me and my family there. It is time to step up my game!
OK, so I admit, I let me girls get away with only doing half the job that I make Kyle do. Kyle is great he is a lot like his father. He gets in, gets it done, and gets on with life. My girls, well, not so much. I get tired of nagging them to finish. Sister Tanner says that just cleaning their rooms isn’t enough. We need to teach them how to get down and scrub. She had a great idea that I am implementing in my home. My kids have their room for the week and I have them do a good cleaning of the said room and then check it every other day to see if it needs touched up. This works well for Kyle, Anne though, not so much. Her idea was to make two lists. One being a quick clean up and the other a good clean up. On the quick one have (we will use the living room) picking up anything that doesn’t belong which includes other people’s things that were left there, straighten the pillows, and maybe vacuum. On the good clean up that they would do on a Saturday it would have, along with the previous list, dust every surface, and remove couch cushions and vacuum couch. You get the idea. I loved it. This way I can take our list and go through each one and if it isn’t done they see that I am not the nagger, but the list is. Great huh!!
Every now and again I bribe my kids with stuff. Not big stuff, but maybe if they are good I will get them a little candy or some $$ toy. I am thinking that they will be so excited and grateful for that little treat, but in reality it is the opposite. They are a little selfish and ungrateful. My mom (love her to pieces) gives my kids little things almost every time we see her. My kids are used to that and before saying hi they go for the “what did you bring me” talk and if there is nothing then they sulk off. WHAT??? How embarrassing. Every time they do that I just want to hide in a corner. When she does bring something and it isn’t up to par (not very often, but it does happen) they tell her they don’t want it. ERRR! I love that she is thinking of my kids and wants them to be happy, but I think I will have to have her stop because I have caused my kids to go down the path of ungratefulness and I need to lead them back up the right path of gratitude.
I am anti game boy. I feel like it is isolating the kids and they are not interacting with others. There are a few video game units out there that I think are ok in moderation, but in general, I nix the games. I want to give that time to things that will be more productive. Some suggestions were (age appropriate though) is to have them help me cook; teach them a little about art, sewing, maybe have them help Robert make something out of wood. Developing these types of skills will help them use their creativity and be proud of what they did. Maybe they will take better care of it.
She brought up the Scripture Mosiah 9:12 (this is linked-just click it). Change the Lamonites into our children and the parents being the Nephites. Our children like to be a bit lazy and love to watch TV, video games, read books (which are good in moderation) while we clean up their messes, make their dinners and they whine to us until we give in to whatever they want to do. I say no more for me, but I need to change my attitude. I need to be a benign dictator instead of just a dictator. There is no option in working, only option will be there attitude- and I think sometimes that might not be an option either.
So my goal is to get my kids to step up their game too. Age appropriate tasks are going to be my keys. Claire is good at gophering, so she gets to get her own diapers, shoes, maybe picking up toys. She is also good at putting the silverware in the drawer, so instead of telling her no, I will just stand there with her while she chucks them all into one drawer and move them appropriately. Toria is going to help me more with just about everything I am doing. She loves being by my side and I am constantly telling her to go do something else, so instead of telling her to leave I will ask her to help. Anne is starting to read, so I am getting her and Kyle the lists of things to do. I think that will be great for them.
Another thing I feel like is super important is to teach them how to use and save their money. I don’t give allowances, but I do give nickels for good behavior (I have a little bean system that works great for them- if you want to know then ask and I will share that on another post) and with that money I have them pay their tithing and then the rest they can spend however they wish. Usually it is a trip to the dollar store. Now I am going to have them pay tithing, fast offerings, presents for other people, savings for mission/college/marriage, and when they get older and start really working I am having them save for their own clothes, activities, school supplies. The list can go on.
Our homework this time was to come up with a family project. It has to be big enough that the kids start complaining to be down with it before it is over. Like cleaning out the garage and winterizing the house. Stuff that isn’t really fun, but then after it is done then do something fun as a family. The kids should learn how to work hard as a family and play hard as a family. Robert and I haven’t decided what our project will be yet, but it is going to be good!